Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I am one with the molecules
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
