he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
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Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
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I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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