I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
