Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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