Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
we're making bets on your personal life
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
