I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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