If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
