I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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