It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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