If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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