i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
