Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
