I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
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I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
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I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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