My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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