During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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