Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
