I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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