A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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