I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
