God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
