I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
