But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
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we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
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I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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