did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
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he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
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Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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