Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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