you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
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I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
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And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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