you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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