The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
