You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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