so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
