So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
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He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
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BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
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