good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just had sex on a roof
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
