yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Randomize
