You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
i think i just lost a toe
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
