This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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