dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
