the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
