so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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