Sry I called you an 8
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I am puke
wanna go halves on a baby?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
