I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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