He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
