YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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