her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
