I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize