why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
