My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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