Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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