Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
