I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
