Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
