i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
