I hate your face
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
