She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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