I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize