I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
