its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
