sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
