I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
