I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Randomize
